i fricken love my long hair-
so i cut it.
i chopped my hair right before starting 8th grade, and for that whole year i was pretty happy with short hair. then i started high school, got obsessed with pinterest, and did everything i could to grow my hair out super fast because i just really wanted long, wavy, ombre hair like all the surfer girls i was pinning lol.
by the end of the year, it was a decent length-at least long enough to knock the high jump bar off in regionals. after that happened i decided i would enjoy my long hair until the district track meet of sophomore year, then i would chop it… i wasn't taking any risks. track season of 2018 came around and i decided there was no way i was gonna cut it. but junior year was a bigger deal, so i decided i'd do it then. again, track season came around and i was still not willing to cut it off. i started saying i would just chop it before i headed to college (cuz no way could i afford enough conditioner for that mane). senior track season, i considered cutting my hair for a split second after not doing too hot at my first meet, but covid cancelled the season so i obviously never went through.
i got a lot of compliments on my hair over the years, and since words of affirmation is my top love language i saw no sensible reason to get rid of it, even coming to college. it went further than that though. i thought i was known as the girl with long hair, and that was my best feature, my most memorable feature, one of the only things that made me pretty. and honestly i was happy with that. i wanted to be associated with all those pinterest surfer girls (still do ngl haha, that's a huge compliment in my eyes) and i wanted people to remember me, even if it was just by my hair.
even further, i thought if i cut my hair i would be a different person. i thought people would see me differently, they would think of me differently, they would expect me to have a different personality, idk, a lot of stuff like that.
a month or so after moving in to college, @coffeewithrach posted something on instagram about why she cut her hair. she said "im known for my long hair" and i thought " hey me too!" then she went further and talked about how she saw her hair becoming an idol, something she was placing her identity in instead of christ. that hit me hard. i wrestled with that conviction for weeks, praying and going back and forth between whether it was worth cutting my hair for this silly idea, vs why i had such a big problem with cutting my hair. ultimately, both of those questions show just how much of my self worth i found in my hair. i had gone years and years saying i would cut my hair, then never following through, and i honestly don't know if i would've followed through now if it weren't for specific people here at jbu.
it wasn't until new gen (a student led worship/prayer/bible study group) another month later when @becca.chamb announced she had been wrestling with the conviction to shave her head for weeks and i witnessed her obedience in doing it right then and there that i decided I needed to cut mine. she went all in for the Lord, and here i was avoiding a haircut that isn't even that abnormal. i stayed at new gen for a couple more hours and around 2 am, after it had already ended and accidentally restarted a couple times lol i just said "i need to cut my hair" so we did, right there in the construction management garage with a pair of target scissors. besides the literal weight of 16 inches of hair being gone, i felt another weight lifted. the weight of holding something back from God for weeks after he called me out.
it's been cool being able to share this testimony whenever someone asks about my haircut. i usually warn them it's kinda a long story haha, then explain. i think it kinda takes people by surprise when you share a whole deep reason behind something as simple as a haircut. i don't really know what everyone truly thinks of the whole idea of cutting my hair because of my faith. but hopefully this explanation makes more sense and maybe opens someone's eyes to the idea of taking action when you realize you're putting your identity in something besides God. happy almost thanksgiving y'all!!!
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