is this even real?!?!?
i thought this summer was gonna be really disappointing because of pandemic restrictions and being away from my home+my school friends+and my pets to work here in nebraska for a month which is the opposite of how i wanted to spend my last summer before college (in my mind that made it a huuugggeee deal haha)
i said goodbye to my friends back home (a couple times actually) in case we didn't get to see each other until christmas break, then i packed up my whole room into 3 categories: nebraska, college, and attic. at this point i was going crazy finally grasping that I was really leaving, and even when i'm back after working it would only be a couple days. i was soooo excited to come spend time with family and hopefully see/make some friends here in seward but i couldn't decide whether that outweighed the pain of leaving.
here i am back home for a few days checking some things off my to-do list last minute and i can honestly say i wouldn't change anything about this summer. there are several songs that have become super relevant and are kinda anthems for me this year, and one of the big ones is my soul sings by maverick city music. i "found" it the week after spring break aka the first week totally turned upside down by covid (an extra week of no school while they figured out the whole online thing). as everything in the world progressed and continually got more severe, this song stayed true and reminded me if i look back on the past 4 years, 1 year, even 1 month I would see every difficulty, disaster, and disappointment i faced didn't actually screw up my life like i thought it would. seriously, reflect on your own life and every hard thing you've come up against. if you're still here, it probably wasn't as bad as you thought and if you don't see the good in it now take heart, because that means God's plan is still unfolding.
anywayyysssss the one of the lines from this particular song that constantly pops into my head in times of gratefulness is
You're better than I know
Better than I hoped You'd be
now this whole song is about thanksgiving and praising God for His goodness to us and I highly recommend googling the lyrics and reading them as well as listening to the song! this phrase right here sticks out to me because it's acknowledging my doubt and lack of understanding as well as magnifying how he is good despite my doubts. it's looking back and saying "God that part of my life really sucked and i wanted You to change it; i had a couple really great ideas on how You could've made it better… but DANG You really outdid Yourself… there's no way i could've dreamed up what You had planned all along… wow"
now to tie this back into my summer-this picture is from an evening spent with amazing friends watching the sunset then driving a little further out to see the comet!! (and that wasn't even all the fun for the day, earlier we hung out at a coffee shop, sat+talked/line dances outside the courthouse in town square, and went to walmart to buy a watermelon and eat it in the back corner of parking lot---it was a dream worthy summer day)
most of these friends aren't actually brand new, i've known them since the first year we started working in the cornfields, the summer of 2018 (except landon). i can't find the right way to describe the relationship in this circle of friends cuz we're all from different states, we're only together for a month max, it's sorta a broad age group, and we bonded because of the struggles of cornfields. somehow that makes the perfect combination and every moment spent with these people is special and feels too good to be real ya know-which is not the type of thing i expected to happen this summer
God took a part of my life that i had come into with high hopes turned into low expectations and He filled it with blessings so good i still can't wrap my mind around how it's all real
moving out of that season and into the next with college, im trying really hard to remember His faithfulness in the face of disappointment and it's honestly harder than i expected (you'd think someone who writes paragraphs upon paragraphs about God's unfailing ability to turn good into bad would maybe be less scared and upset about current circumstances but nope :/ i get a little carried away in fear when i stop focusing on God's promises and truth)
a person may have many ideas concerning God’s plan for his life, but only the designs of his purpose will succeed in the end.
proverbs 19:21 tpt
Lord , you are my God; i will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago.
isaiah 25:1 niv
for I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord , “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
jeremiah 29:11 niv
no matter how i feel right now or over the next few days/weeks, i can say with absolute certainty i will have many stories of blessings to share on the other end of the whole covid+college craziness and that's something i can hold onto for hope and peace in these uncertain times (hopefully y'all can too!!)
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