soooo today is my 17th birthday and also technically the last day of the school year, although i took my last final yesterday. And wow has this been a crazy amazing learning experience, both in school this year and also just this year of my life! i was thinking about everything i've experienced in the last 365 days and how they have shaped who i am now, and i wanted to write a post about the 16 main things i have been through and learned.
1+2: perseverance and love... Summer jobs are definitely not easy, especially when it means you are stuck in cornfields every day for 3 weeks straight. my sister kylyn and i went to seward, nebraska this summer with our whole family for the 4th of july, and the 2 of us stayed for a while after to work- doing detasseling. you can look it up or ask me sometime if you want to know more about it, because i have a ton of stories and mini lessons i learned through that too. however, the main 2 had to do with perseverance when you feel like quitting, and loving people/getting close through hard experiences. pretty much every day i felt like this job was waaayyy too much work and i wasn't too excited to be there, but i was already here for the whole month and some money for savings would be really nice too so i kept going. if anyone doesn't know, kylyn and i hardly ever get along very well. but, turns out when it feels like its just the two of us, alone, in the hot sun or cold rain in the middle of a field, we depend on each other a lot and really get along well. over the whole 21 days we were without our parents (we were with our cousins/aunt+uncle) we only had 2 fights, 1 over socks and the other over turning lights off. thats pretty much a record, and i kinda wish we could do something to put us back in that type of relationship again. overall, i learned that challenging yourself can help you get better mentally and physically, and that my sister and i will always be there for each other when things get tough.
3: open faith... One thing i talked about in my first post was how I've seeing a lot of people around me worshiping, praying, and just freely talking about god like its completely normal. i mean i was noticing it everywhere; in strangers and my close friends. soon i found myself going in and oh my gosh i love the mindset/lifestyle of an open faith where you can just not be afraid of what people think of you because you know you're living a life that is pleasing to your creator. i also asked a lot of people to pray for me or my family or anyone whenever something was going on, and it kinda seems bad to me but i didn't usually do that. the lesson is don't be afraid to worship or give thanks or ask god for help or just to talk about him in your daily life, and you will literally feel the holy spirit living in you.
4: getting closer to friends... i feel like I've always had a lot of friends, and i get along with almost everybody all the time. this year though i started getting real close to my friends that were in choir and second saturday and our press box lunch group. i still talk to a whole lotta people and i have a ton of good friends, but having a close knit community that i can talk to about anything and they will listen, pray, give advice, and just be there for me is sooo totally awesome. so i have learned having a close friend group that is with me in my faith journey is a HUUUGGEEE deal and an amazing blessing.
5: breakdowns and breakthroughs... well if you read the other post about being overwhelmed then you kinda know what I'm talking about here, and if not go check that out next. basically i usually keep all my negative feelings all bottled up and to myself, but a couple months ago i started talking through them with people i really trust and i almost always come away feeling sooo much better and i have new perspectives and ideas on how to handle my situations. in this case, i learned that its ok to break down and ask for help, because god works in your weakness
6: worship... i have a whole post coming soon about this one, because i have learned so much about worship that there is no way i could fit it all here. i went to a workshop at a place called launch and learned all about different types of worship, including the origins/history, movement while worshipping, and also the mindset you should have when you are giving praise to god. so yes, i learned about worship BIG TIME!!!
7: procrastination... this isn't exactly something new about me, but i definitely saw the effects of my bad habits of putting things off until the last minute in a major way this year. one thing i really noticed was obviously homework/studying, but another is this whole thing where i was going to write letters to one of my cousins in japan and keep up with her as pen pals. i STILL have a 6 page letter in my notebook that i started in last july... definitely a big oof. theres a whole lot more examples of my issues, but in summary i learned i realllllyyyyy need to get on top of things and get stuff done right away
8: testing... it is the year of PSAT, ACT, and SATs and actually, i love it. standardized testing has always been one of my favorite parts of each school year and this time i got to take several tests. yup i know its pretty weird but oh well. i have learned that no matter how you do on it (or how awkward it is going to a random school in your area with no one you know because you live 45 minutes away from your best friends) your score doesn't make or break your future automatically and it doesn't change who you are as a person.
9: mentors... momma wenz and kaleo house are probably some of the BEST people i could have met and just getting closer to them feels so crazy because to me, they are these super cool people who are living out lives and relationships with a purpose in mind, and their purpose is straight from god's intentions. idk how to describe the people in a short paragraph but i have learned so much from them and i can talk to them whenever i need advice or if i just want to get something off of my mind that i have been stressing over. that is an absolute blessing straight from god and i am so thankful that they are all part of my life now. the lesson here; find people who's faith you admire and go to them with your questions, listen to their wisdom, and take they god-inspired words to heart
10: comfort zone + meeting strangers... something kinda fun i've been trying to do is get out of my comfort zone and just be open to talking to strangers or people i wouldn't usually gravitate towards. I've always gone to a school where i have family working there, so usually i just stay around them and they people they know and while i have nothing against being with other people, i just didn't see the need to go out of my comfort zone. now i have met so many people and made friends with them just because i decide to hang out in a hotel lobby instead of my room, or other things like that. I'm still working on this because I'm not great at getting enough courage and starting conversations, but already, being friendly with strangers has taught me so much about myself and people in general. I'm learning to make lots of new friends
11: try new things... like i said, going to school with a lot of family and just staying inside my comfort zones has been completely fine, but when you try new things you learn new things and you gain new things. talking to new people, opening your mind to new perspectives without necessarily changing your own, and creating amazing moments any time are some of the best things you can do. i really want to go to college and get a degree in photography so i can work for a travel magazine someday, but i saw all the other types of art classes you have to take as part of the process and i was pretty concerned and discouraged. however, i have started painting especially over christmas break and i absolutely LOVE it. i would never have known that if i didn't just go for it, but i am really glad i did. summary- nike has been right all along... just do it
12: relationships can be good and bad... i love all of my friends sooooo much, but this year i had my first actual boyfriend and i love him so much too. he was pretty much one of my best friends ever and talking to him all the time was really great and it made me happy. however, once things started to change and i was looking more at gods intentions for romantic relationships, i realized that i had maybe strayed away from some things i usually value a lot. i had to try to figure out how to balance spending time with him and my other friends, and i had to learn how to stay loyal to many people at the same time. theres a lot that you learn when you go through all the ups and downs, and i don't really know how much i can share that would actually mean anything to someone that hasn't learned it for themselves. for the most part, the biggest thing i learned was that relationships are so so good, but so are a lot of other things in life, and there is a season for everything (shout out to ecclesiastes 3:1-8)
13: seasons of life... speaking of that, i really have begun to understand a lot more about waiting, but not sitting still. you are in whatever season right now for a reason, even if it feels pointless or painful. i have started watching more sermons online and really taking notes, and i have also been praying more often and really relying on god to lead me through everything. there have been a ton of times where i have no idea what is going on or what i am supposed to do and i just end up laying on my bedroom floor in the dark with my arms out and praying desperately for help or revelations, or more clear guidance to lead me through each step of that season. the lesson here is that there is for sure a reason for every single season, even the seasons that don't feel special or like an actual season at all.
14: school isn't always boring... so i have kinda discovered ways to make school less "not fun" and more exciting and that includes getting my work done but also taking time to do random, stupid/but not bad things when i feel like i need something to laugh about. whether its rolling down alba hallway, sprinting around school crying before an AP physics test, trust falling on random people, penguin sliding, or anything else like that (there's also rosemary from physics class but thats a pretty top secret topic) i gush all the time about how much i love summer and i can't wait for school to be done, but this year the last 3 weeks of school when it hit me how much i would miss doing all of that, i was crushed and my excitement started to fade. its pretty much 100% back now that i get to sleep in and swim all day, but still- it definitely wasn't all bad. lesson number 11: don't be afraid to do random things and make your day a little better by having fun
15: reality is TUFF... so i have started to do more research and be more deliberate with my college decision process and it is really hitting me just how complicated everything is. it doesn't really help that my own aspirations are complicated on their own, with my want to play college volleyball and/or track, get good grades, study abroad, go on mission trips, have a lot of friends and a good social life, get a lot of scholarships and a good job so i don't end up in debt, and them some how travel the world on a photographers budget (look that up, the $ is not a lot and the idea seems impossible) while having a family that lives on a farm in a small town and seeing all my friends and cousins and siblings and parents as often as possible. yup, reading that probably gave you a headache because that is one heck of a run on. reality is, that is 99% for sure not gonna happen and that really stinks for me. but the lesson i am learning is that no matter what, i am following gods plan for me, and there is no such thing as a wrong turn or detour when it comes to his path for you in life.
16: make the most of time with people... whether its going off to college, passing away, moving across the country or something else, people you love are going to go in and out of your life and goodbyes are never fun. really, the message here is simple, just don't talk them for granted and really appreciate the moments you have with them. take every opportunity to get closer and make memories and do everything you can right now that will prevent you from looking back and regretting what you did or didn't do with those people.
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